Returning to the Kingdom. 1

Your boy got a job.
Now, that said, it's not a real job but it does result in payment. Which will hopefully result in the ability to purchase that T2i soon, as I must get underway with my "Independent Study" on animation under the watch of Jarod Charzewski Check Him Out Here
The job is rough and involves lots of banana peeling, yogurt scooping, and blender running. Welcome to Planet Smoothie. Rock Bottom never tasted so good.
But thats not important. What is seemingly important is that I am releasing my first extended short story (or novel, to stretch that word) this week. If you would like a copy, please email me at zacmallard@gmail.com as they will be printed to order.

Now with those announcements out of the way, we can move onward to todays topic which will be the first in a short series I'd like to call "Returning to the Kingdom", an attempt to reawaken the animal within all people. The first step of this plan (yes, I am saying plan, as in- follow it and see resulting outcomes) is to showcase the following ideas of modern man and why they are erroneous. Here are some common misconceptions concerning the human form.

1. Animal Fat is unhealthy- False, now, excessive consumption- yes. However, if you exclude red meat from your diet and believe it can be replaced by Fish Oil tablets or Avocados, you are denying your body of a basic need it has to lubricate your structure, as well as fuel your brain.

2. Lifting free-weights is harmful- Really? Its insane that people believe this. "Oh no, I dont touch weights I just go to ZuMbA each Thursday with Peggy". Without forced deconstruction the body will not grow. We are born to be LARGE animals (comparatively) look around at your eye level, do you see many other animals? Not in America, and if you do, its probably a horse, and we can all agree, horses are big. GET BIG!

3. Anti-aging products- When we found we could find the Fountain of Youth, we decided as a Western culture, to try and make it ourselves. This results in two things- 1) Vast profits for those who back the false product, and 2) Women (and Men) lathering their FACE with chemicals. Don't be ridiculous.

4. Smoking Tobacco- No need for details, just stop.

5. Consuming Alcohol- Again, this has a lot to do with volume/frequency, however, if you drink more than 2 drinks at least 4 nights a week.... Chilllllllllllll.

6. Cosmetics- This one is the funniest/saddest. As a male, and more over a male in college with Acne, I can tell you I have tried a vast amount of things to "fix" this problem. I mean, pills, topicals, diet change, the whole gamete. I now no longer abide to that, I mean Ill use some St. Ives to scrubbbb the ol' beard down, but the face you see is my REAL face. Covering your face with false coloration is CRAZY. Please, seize and desist from wearing make up.  

7. High Heels- Now, as a man who is attracted to women, and also one that enjoys the game/market of fashion ( which at this time seems a bit contradictory I'm aware) I cannot understand why women wear a mold that hurts/damages/hinders their feet! If you cant run in 'em, don't wear 'em. Cause you never know when the blocks gonna get hot...

....And I could go on, but I wont. Because you understand, don't you? The level of ridiculousness that is happening in our era is absurd.